


Walking Through the Fire

by crimsinsky



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Baby Fic, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-16 12:24:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 14,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9271313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimsinsky/pseuds/crimsinsky
Summary: A sequel to Where Do We Go From Here, Buffy gets an impossible surprise.





	1. Sweet Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> No copyright intended, just for fun

Willow plopped down on Buffy’s bed watching her unpack a suitcase. “Soooo how was Germany?

“Cold, lots of beer, not so good with the shopping. Italy was way better, gelatos, shoes.”

“So you managed to hit up all the cultural hotspots again?”

“Hey I’m not some airhead; we went to the Trevi Fountain. We fought a demon in the coliseum that was pretty cool.”

“And the house hunting?”

“Uh.” Buffy groaned “Do NOT get me started. Spike’s worse than I am, too many windows, no library, not enough closet space, oh that’s mine but still.” She threw her shoes into the closet. “What makes it worse is I’m totally jet lagged.”

“Oh I have this great powder. You can mix it in with food or tea and it lulls you to sleep.”

“Is it magic?”

“No, Giles checked it out and gave it the all clear. It’s a mild sedative root.”

“If you’re sure that’d be great.” Buffy yawned “Other than the sleep deprivation and demons it was a nice anniversary trip.”

*************

Willow brought her the Ashwagandha root powder and she mixed it into a tea. _Can’t even taste it._  She took a warm shower and went to bed alone. Spike was playing poker with the guys at the school.

After a few minutes she was sound asleep, but dreaming.

She was wandering around in a pretty meadow filled with flowers. It was a little weird for her, who just sat around in fields of flowers? “I’d rather be at the beach.”

As she said the words the meadow turned into a private sandy beach. Better.

In the real world: Spike came home, took a swig of her leftover tea on the bedside table and crawled into bed with her. Shortly after he was asleep too.

Spike with his Doc’s and jeans was not beach ready. He started taking them off. “You know I never went to the beach when I was alive.” He shouted to his wife, who was kicking water where it met the sand.

“Then come in with me.” She ran off into the warm blue water with spike trailing after her splashing in the water. Buffy splashed him mercilessly until he dove under. The water stilled. “Spike?” She knew he didn’t’ need to breathe especially in a dream, but it worried her to be left alone like this now that he had shown up.

Suddenly she was lifted up into the air by familiar arms. Buffy screamed as Spike then dunked her into the water. “Okay okay I surrender.”

“Good.” Spike kissed her.

They made love and woke up tangled in each other.

“That was some dream.” Spike joked.

Buffy pinched his arm. 


	2. Shouldn’t, Couldn’t, Totally Is

Half of the school was sick with a nasty flu strain. Buffy and Spike played nursemaid to help the doctor until Buffy caught it too just as most of the girls were over the worst of it.

“Come on pet into the tub.”

“As soon as the room stays put,” Buffy whined.

“I’ve got you.” He carried her into the bathroom placing her in the warm water and bubbles. Buffy moaned as the heat soaked into her aching limbs. She’d had it bad. Dizzy and vomiting everything she ate, when she wasn’t sleeping.

Spike left her to soak and got some crackers for her, the only thing she could stand, and pulled out clean sweats for her to wear.

Buffy soaked for over an hour until the water got cold, then she put on the sweats and crawled into bed.

Spike came in once more to check on her. “I’m going to patrol do you want me to call Willow?”

“No, I’m just going to sleep. I’ll be fine don’t worry.”

“But I do worry. I know you can handle yourself but not when you’re sick.”

“Fine, I’ll sleep you go slay and bring back chocolates.”

“As the lady commands.” He bowed to her.

Buffy stayed away all of five minutes after Spike left.

She floated around the room no longer in her bed.

“Beach” she closed her eyes only to open them and find she was still in her room. “Damn.”

Angel appeared behind her. “From Connor, you will find your answer.”

“Who’s Connor?”

“Just ask.”

Even in the slayer dream realm, she felt ill. “I just did, who is Connor?”

She woke with a start and grabbed the phone. It took forever to connect across an ocean and two countries until finally, she heard Angel.

“Buffy what’s up?”

“Who’s Connor?”

He paused for a moment “How do you know about Connor?”

“Slayer dream. Now who is he?” She was nauseous and severely irritable.

“You don’t need to know that Buffy.” Angel dismissed her with a soft sweet hush.

A hush Buffy did not appreciate. “SLAY-ER DREAM! It’s important!”

Angel stopped, Buffy wasn’t sure he was still on the line. “My son,” he said at last.

“Huh?”

“My son, mine and Darla’s. She died giving birth to him.”

“Your sire Darla who you staked in front of me Darla or a different Darla you dated.”

“The first one. Wolfram and Heart brought her back to life a few years ago to get to me.”

Buffy froze for a minute. “Do you ever tell me anything kind of important? HOW did it happen?”

“I don’t know I swear I don’t. Westley was looking into it but we never found any answers. What’s all this about?”

Buffy hung up without a goodbye.

She stared at the wall. “Oh my god.”

Spike came back in quietly. He heard her phone ringing from the bedroom and rushed to grab it before she woke up.

She was still staring at the wall in shock.

He was on alert. “S’matter love?”

“I need to tell you something and-” She faltered. “And I don’t know how you’re going to take it.”

Okay, just spit it out. You’re scaring me.

“So I had a slayer dream and – I” she mumbled so soft and quickly that his vampire hearing couldn’t catch it.

“What?”

“I -think’mpregnantwithyourbaby.” She blurted.

Spike laughed. “You know you can tell me whatever it is and I’ll keep my temper in check. You don’t have to joke. Did Andrew do something stupid…again?”

“I’m not joking.”

He studied her face, scared and doe-eyed emeralds rimmed with tears. Spike knew she was serious about something but it couldn’t be it. “Buffy that’s not possible.”

“I’m—Angel has a kid.”

“What?”

“Slayer dream it was Angel talking to me. He said Connor has the answers or something. I called Angel asking who Connor is. He’s Angel and Darla’s son. I don’t know what happened or how it happened because I just hung up and apparently it’s possible.”

Spike paced the room rubbing the back of his neck. “I was in LA he didn’t have a kid then. Connor was some college kid that hung around once in a while. I don’t know what he’s talking about, might be some kind of insanity. You’re probably not, you know.”

“I have to know. Drive me up to the school and we can find out.” Buffy was desperate. This was not supposed to happen.

“At least let her sleep a few minutes. She’s been run ragged by the girls the last few weeks.  We’ll go over first thing. You sit on the couch watch a movie, I’ll make you some food.”

“Okay.”

Spike tried to collect his thoughts _. It can’t be true, can it?_

He busied himself making hot chocolate remembering the candy he brought home.

_Just a dream, it’s not possible._

They sat together on the couch in silence not really watching the movie. Spike fidgeted and Buffy stared absently into space. When the credits rolled Spike hopped up. 

“Alright let’s go.”

Buffy followed in a sort of stunned obedience.

It was just after six when they left, the dawn hadn’t broken yet and the school was silent as they slipped into the infirmary.

“Buffy, Spike, it’s a tad early isn’t it?” Dr. Nora said from behind her desk.

She was a pretty black haired woman who’s younger sister was a potential turned Slayer. “Ready to help me out today?”

“Not quite Doc.”

“I think I need a blood test or something.”

“Whatever for?”

“I think I might be pregnant.”

“Oh congratulations or um possible congratulations,” she stammered at the realization of who the parents were.” Spike stay out here Buffy come with me, I’ll do an examination while I’m at it.”

Spike was left alone to pace around the office for what seemed hours.

“Well?” He snapped when they returned a short time later.

“Congratulations Papa.”

“So it’s true?”

“Yep, a healthy little it. By it I mean I can’t tell you gender for several more weeks it’s still early. I thought that clarification might be necessary considering the peculiarities around here. Buffy, you need to stay away from here until the flu bug is over and done with.”

Once back in the cottage Buffy sat on the couch aware that Spike was staring at her.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” She finally broke.

“Don’t rightly know what to say. I just keep thinking it’s not real and how it’s not possible and how I don’t know what I did to deserve this.” He whispered, “I mean a baby.”

“It’s real Spike. What are we going to do?” She started crying. “I never planned on being a mom. I expected to be dead now.”

Without noticing Spike had walked across the room and circled her in his arms “Hey now, it’s alright. Don’t cry.”

“I’m already messing up. I should have told you differently but I don’t know what to do and I’m wigging. Oh God what do I know about being a mom and-”

Spike spoke soft and rubbed her back trying to soothe her “You took care or Nibblet well enough with no help. We’ll figure it out.”

“So you’re not mad?”

“How could you ever think that? This wasn’t supposed to happen. Lots of things shouldn’t happen. Not top sorry about this one, though.”

Buffy placed a hand over her stomach. Spike blinked back a tear. He didn’t think Buffy saw it but she did. She started to cry again.

“What’s the matter, Love?”

“Nothing, absolutely nothing.” She clung to his neck. Happy scared tears. He stroked her back until the tears stopped.

“It’s been a long night. I need to lay down.”

“Say no more.” He scooped her up into his arms

Buffy finally stopped crying for good and laughed. “What are you doing?”

“No need to exert yourself.” Spike smiled.

“This is ridiculous.” Then she reconsidered, “You know I’m going to milk this for all it’s worth when I get fat and lazy right?”

“Go right ahead you won’t hear me complaining, ‘cept for daytime food runs, then you’re on your own.”

“We could use it as mini slayer training. Who can run to and from the store the fastest?”

“I can see the power trip now.”

“Ooh, a super hormonal slayer that should terrify the demons.” Buffy giggled.

“Damn well should.” 


	3. Laughter, Tears, and Fears

It took them a week to decide that they needed some backup. They called a Scooby meeting at the cottage.

“So what’s of the up?” Willow asked. “We don’t get the original Scoobies together that much lately.”

Xander groaned putting down his pizza, “Please tell me it’s not another apocalypse. I mean can we all just take a break from ending the world. Can’t someone just take over an uninhabited piece of the desert once in a while and be happy with that?”

“Not an apocalypse but well…it’s pretty big.” Buffy was terrified of how the three Scoobies would react.

“Well, what is it, Buffy?” Giles coaxed.

“I- I’m” She stammered and froze.            

Spike grabbed her hand “Buffy’s pregnant.”

They stared in amazement.

Giles proceeded cautiously “And the father is?”

“Spike.” Buffy managed.

“Look we’re not exactly sure what mumbo jumbo caused this to happen, we have a slight inkling.”

“I must say nothing like this has happened before.”

“Well… that’s kind of the other news. Apparently, Angel has a kid.” Buffy said.

“Say what now?” Xander asked.

“That’s trickier than our news.” Spike sighed. “So back in Sunny D, Angel staked Darla. Wolfram and Heart magiced her human and back to life. She was sick and dying Drusilla sired her into a vampire again. Then somehow she got a magic bun in the oven, skipping some stuff now the kid is a 20-year-old toddler.”

Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes. “Thanks honey, despite his lack of tact that’s about what we found out. Westley was looking into how it was magically possible but he never found anything.

“So are we happy about this?” Xander asked.

“Cautiously happy.” Buffy smiled.

“Okay good.” Xander shared a glance with Willow and they both jumped at her and hugged her.

“You guys.”

“Congratulations Buffy.” Willow smiled.

“And to you too Spike.” Xander offered him a handshake only to pull him into the circle of hugging.

“Get off me.” The vampire snarled.

“No can do,” Willow laughed. “Now accept it or I’ll magic you happy.”

When the hug fest ended Giles brought them back to a more serious matter. “You said you had an inkling as to what caused the pregnancy.”

“Giles did you never get that talk?” Xander quipped.

“Moving on, what do you suspect?” Giles glared at Xander.

Spike started “When Darla came back she was supposed to drive Angel mad, they drugged his blood with something and he had weird dreams with Darla.”

“We think it might have been that sleeping powder Willow gave Buffy.”

“Could it have done this? It’s the only thing different I’ve had.”

“It was supposed to be safe.” Willow burst.

“I’ve never heard of it happening.”

Xander offered his words of wisdom. “To be honest how many humans are giving this powder to vampires and then kanoodling with them?”

“Yes quite right. I feel like this will need further research, but it’s unlikely that we’ll find the cause.”

“I need to go outside.” Willow ran off.

Buffy caught her just out the door.

“Buffy I’m so sorry”

“You got no complaints from me, maybe in a few months though. I reserve my right to complain, can I save it?”

"You’re not angry" Willow cried.

"No, it’s not a bad thing just definitely unexpected. Later would have been better but its okay."

"You’re going to be a mom."

"Yeah. You’ll get to be Auntie Willow."

"Oh, Oh Giles will be a grandpa." They cried and giggled at the same time.

Giles opened the window and leaned out. "Is everything all right?"

They stopped. Then exploded with laughter.

When they didn’t stop he closed the window. "I will never for as long as I live, understand women." 


	4. Little Steps

After the initial shock, the group got down to work as they always did on a new crisis. Research parties were done sans food as the smell of everything made Buffy ill. But after a couple months of nothing they more or less gave up searching the old files as they had been.

Giles and Willow continued the search in their spare time as they computerized all of the undamaged Council’s documents they’d obtained. Xander happily went back to working away from books training the baby slayers. Buffy stopped slaying as she was miserably nauseous.

Spike and Buffy attempted to pretend the unexpected pregnancy was normal and began baby prepping, starting with potential names.

The list of No’s was poster board sized now, and one of their favorite late night arguments.

Spike rubbed the back of his head, _how could it be this hard to pick a few names?_ “Here” he handed Buffy a notebook. “Write down all your ex-boyfriends names.”

“Are you serious?” She half glared at him as he nodded. “Fine but you do it too.”

Spike did as commanded and tossed his paper at her.

Buffy was cranky “You can’t be done already.”

“I only have two Love, and one name I greatly dislike.”

Buffy tossed it back at him. “Add Joan and Randy to your list then. Alright, I’m done, put it on the board.”

“Let’s see it.” Spike looked over the sheet. “You didn’t put Liam.”

“That’s because I never dated anyone named Liam.”

He cocked his head to the side studying her. “Are you messing with me or do you really not know?”

“What?”

“Angels name is Liam O’Connor.”

Buffy just stared blankly at Spike for a second. “Oh for god’s sake,” she yelled. “Just add it to the list I’m too irritated and moody right now.”

“Ok.” Spike let her slam around the kitchen. He knew better than to be the one to push her in this mood. Between banging cabinets, he heard mumbled bits of “stupid Angel” and a variety of curses placed on him.

When Buffy finally calmed down and went to bed. Spike went out to do a quick patrol. They weren’t really necessary out in the country, but it was habit.  

He stopped by the general store to grab more crackers and some ice-cream for Buffy.

When he got near the cottage he began to feel uneasy. Something was very much wrong.

He took off at a dead run for her.

He threw the door open, scaring Buffy awake.

“Are you alright?” Spike tried to get a fix on her and the baby’s heart rate.

“Besides being scared to death?” Buffy shouted.

“Don’t joke, is the baby alright?”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Someone’s been in the house.”

 “What do you mean someone’s been in the house?”

“I can smell it. Someone’s been in here since I left.” Spike started searching the house.

Buffy grabbed her phone “Giles, can you get the gang and meet up here? Someone’s been in the house, we need some magic scans. Okay.”

“Spike just stop, it’s going to be fine.”

“But they were here, you were-”

“I know, sit down. The two of us are alright. If there’s anything wrong we’ll take it out.”

Spike crushed her to him. “If I’d lost you.”

Buffy didn’t say anything she knew the feeling, and just let him hold her. No amount of comforting words would help right now.

****************

Willow arrived with bags and books.

“One supernatural security cam coming up.” She mumbled an incantation. “Stand back against the walls; it’s a little weird if you walk through you.”

The group watched as a phantom Buffy went to bed and Spike left in a fast forward mode. Shortly after a man with a hooded jacket walked into the house. He simply strolled around, handling things around the house. Before leaving he pulled his hood back, exposing his face, and then walked out.

“I know him,” Spike said.

“What? Is this some old gambling buddy like the loan shark?” Buffy asked.

“No, that’s Lindsey McDonald. The one who had Maddie poison you. His hair was longer, but that’s him.”

“So if he’s back...” Willow trailed off.

Buffy gasped “Oh God, what about Maddie.”


	5. Blood of the Covenant

Dawn was the first to reach out to Maddie. She understood the girl’s feeling abandoned and used. She always made a point of seeing her when she came for visits.

Ever the slave to his Nibblet, Spike came around and gave the girl a chance. Buffy took longer to get over her uneasiness with Maddie but soon grew to like the little girl. She was a favorite of the Scoobies, another damaged kid lost in the world. She was very much like pieces of all of them.

Unlike many of the girls, she was alone in the world until she became a slayer.

Willow hung up her cell. “Giles has her in the office, she’s fine.”

“I think we should pack some stuff and go to the school.” Buffy was wrapped around Spike. He was near shaking.

Spike shook his head. “Take only what you absolutely need. I don’t know what Lindsey did but it’s safe to assume it wasn’t just to look at the nick-knacks.”

“Fine. Let’s just go, I have a bad feeling. Willow, can you do something to block anyone else from getting in?”

“Already done, let’s motor.”

Giles was waiting in the doorway with Maddie for the group.

“I did a banning spell on supernatural entities. I want to see if it works.”

Spike attempted to walk through the doorway. “No go, I’m locked out.”

“Good. Come in Spike, let’s get up to the office”

Buffy and Spike both recounted their night.

“Alright, how bad is this?” Buffy finished.

“I don’t know exactly. He didn’t appear to do anything, but I doubt his actions were as innocent as they seem. If only to rattle you. But the question still remains why?”

“I’ve never met him. Before a couple years ago I never even heard of him.”

“Like I said last time, when I was in LA he said his name was Doyle, saw the future. Told me that Cordelia was some soulless demon spirit.”

“Cordelia died, Spike.”

“Lest among us not been in that boat and are here to tell the tale. I dunno she was there as some projection or message for Angel.”

“And later he shows up, maybe evil Angel was working with him. Lorne was supposed to kill him, and here we are.” Xander offered.

“I’m sorry,” Maddie whispered, from the corner she was cowering.

Buffy was much better with Maddie’s calm moods than she’d ever been with Dawn. “It’s not your fault.” She said.

“But it’s my fault he came after you.”

“Maddie,” Spike sighed. “We’ve been over this. Doyle knew Buffy was here before he contacted you.”

“Be that as it may have been three years ago, this is very different. Lindsey never made a direct move himself.” Giles removed his glasses. “I’m more afraid of him coming after Maddie or Buffy.”

“What can we do? We never found anything on him the last time, it was like he disappeared off the face of the Earth.” Willow asked.

Giles mumbled “Face of the Earth. Willow! What do you remember about Temporal Displacement?”

“Do you think-?”

“It’s possible. If we could find a way to test the theory.”

Xander threw up a hand “For those of us who don’t speak geek, translation please.”

“Lindsey was heavily connected to serious magical entities; it is possible that he can either be transporting himself to another time or dimension,” Giles said.

Buffy asked skeptically “How can you test for that?”

“There are some spells, heavy on the mojo.” Willow sighed. “But it’s near impossible we don’t have anything of his to even attempt-”

“Use me!” Maddie stood up.

“No.We can-” Buffy said

“You’ll waste time. _If_ I am his sister then you can use my blood right? All the rituals for everything asks for blood.”

“Maddie you’re still a kid, we’re not going to use you in some vendetta Lindsey started,” Buffy said. When it came to the girls, she was usually in charge of deciding what they should or shouldn’t be asked to handle.

Usually.

“If I offer you’re not using me. Lindsey used me, he lied to me. He made me hurt people and even if he is my brother he didn’t protect me.” Maddie cried.

“Protect you from what?” Spike asked.

“From all of you. Lindsey said you were evil, and then you all found out what I did. He had to know you found out. I was so scared about what you were going to do to me. If you were so evil why didn’t he try to save me?”

She paused to take a breath she was somewhere between crying and angry. “At the very least I thought you’d throw me out, I didn’t have anywhere else to go. Instead, you let me stay and you took care of me, you gave me a family. So I’m doing this and you can’t stop me!”

“Is anyone else getting a serious case of Deja Vu?” Xander asked.

Buffy slapped his arm.

“Though the offer is kind of you Maddie, it’s a bit presumptuous. First we need to locate a spell that would safely and accurately locate Lindsey if he on another plane.” Giles spoke tiredly. “What I suggest is everyone try to get some sleep. Maddie, you should stay with Willow or Buffy. Don’t go back to your room at all until further notice.”

“You can come crash in the basement with us.” Buffy stretched. “We’ll have a movie fest until we maybe fall asleep.”

Xander laughed. “And flashback to hiding out from the initiative.”

“Oi, at least my basement has walls.”

“Laugh it up, bleach boy.”

“This is going to be a long night.” Willow groaned. 


	6. Farewell the Tranquil Mind

Hours into a very early morning of sleep deprivation combined with anxiety they shifted from one movie to another, “Well, that movie sucked.” Buffy groaned.

Spike teased her. “Ingenious choice of words for a vampire movie Love. It sucks.”

“Shut up you know what I meant. I mean it was so terrible. I could have just dusted him and be done with it. And his hair, what was up with his hair?”

“I don’t know reminded me a bit of your ex.”

“Does not.”

“Does too. The whole ‘I’m dead let me stalk some sixteen-year-old until she falls in love with me for my brooding.’ It’s rubbish.”

“Oh, like you didn’t do the same thing?”

“Hey, you were not sixteen.”

“Eh-hem you tried to kill me when I was sixteen.”

“You were seventeen and we were enemies, that’s what you do.”

“Ok Maddie, lesson 1 don’t date vampires lesson 2 don’t date your mortal enemy.”

“Seemed to work out alright for you.” Maddie teased.

“Lesson 3 don’t sass the elder slayer.” She threw a pillow at her.

During the next movie Spike fell into a fitful sleep. He rarely dreamed. Ever since the First he never had nightmares. Until today.

He wasn’t quite sure that it was a dream. It started off like real life, the group in the basement watching movies. But it was off a little.

Spike, Willow, and Xander got along well enough over the past few years. Willow looked over at him. “I can’t believe Buffy wasted her time on you, let alone married you. I mean you did kidnap me and try to kill me.”

“Your right Willow, Buffster could have done better with just about anyone. She picks some loser vamp who’s so whipped he asks permission to exist. Pathetic.”

Buffy finally glancing up from the television “You guys are right. Maybe I should dust him and get it over with. He’s nothing like Angel.”

Spike couldn’t speak, he could only sit there and take the abuse.

“Spike.” Buffy glared at him, she got up from her spot and hit him.

Spike woke up with a start. His Buffy was gently tapping his arm. “There you are. You were tossing and turning.”

“Musta been a dream.” He choked out.

“Some dream. Look everyone’s passed out,” she whispered.  “And the baby protests sleeping on the couch, so let’s go back to your old room.”

“Fine.”

“You okay?”

“Of course Love.”

Buffy was a little concerned but brushed it off, she was weird when she’s woken up against her will. “Well, all right.”

They got into bed and Buffy fell asleep with her head on Spike’s chest.

Spike knew it was just a dream but something about it stuck at him.

*******

Spike woke late in the afternoon, alone.

Buffy came back down thirty minutes later with Maddie.

“So leave me stuck down here all alone?”

“I thought you could use the sleep. After all you do the slaying for me and the food getting.”

“Could have left a note.” Spike griped.

“You’re all bad moody.”

“I’m sorry just off this morning. What’d I miss?”

“A whole lot of nothing” Maddie complained. “Mr. Giles and Willow are on conference call with the coven trying to figure out what happened at your house.”

“And I was supposed to call Angel and figure out the deal with Lindsey but I made Xander do it instead.”

Spike flinched internally. He was normally oblivious to the mention of Angel now but it struck him today. “How come?”

“Too much energy to track him down, _IF_ he can figure out how to answer his phone. And truth be told I don’t want to talk to him. I have another vampire to deal with that is much better.”

He was buttered up, “And what do you want?”

“Well since Maddie is forced stick with me I thought the three of us could just watch more movies and be lazy today.”

“Oh really.”

Buffy batted her lashes “The baby’s tired.”

No matter the awful mood Spike was in he had to laugh. “What are you going to do for an excuse when it comes out?”

“I will think of that when the time comes.”

“All right Maddie picks first.”

“Yey!”  Maddie lived in a house with dozens of girls about her age; she loved getting even just a little bit of special attention.

They settled in to watch more movies; it was very relaxing and normal. But something still pulled at Spike, something he couldn’t quite figure out.

*******

A week since Lindsey had walked into their home and there were still no answers. The coven was arriving any day now after a previous crisis in South Africa, hopefully, to solve the matter.

Spike was listless; he slept most of the day and night with bad dreams. When he was awake he barely ate and was irritable. On the eighth day, he didn’t wake up.

Buffy tried to wake him up and he wouldn’t. His skin was hot and he mumbled in his sleep. Some of it phrases, some of it she didn’t understand.

“How long has he been like this?” Giles asked. 

“Maybe 20 minutes, but he’s been out for hours.” Buffy was close to her wits end. “How can he be sick Giles? He’s a vampire, he can’t get sick.”

“But he can be poisoned.” An unfamiliar voice came from the doorway. “I’m Eleanora, the coven has just been to see your house. We know what he’s been poisoned with.”

“So I can just give him slayer blood or the girls could, and he’ll be fine right?”

The older woman was very gentle with Buffy. “I’m afraid not. It’s a magic poison, it’s going after his mind first not the body.”

“Then what do we do?” Buffy stared at Spike lying on the bed.

“We’re going to have to break into his mind." Eleanora stared Buffy down "And you’re going to have to bring him back...or he'll kill you.” 


	7. The Keeper

There wasn’t much choice; Buffy knew she could save him.

“This won’t hurt the baby will it?”

“No it’s perfectly safe,” Eleanora put a hand over Buffy’s “I’ll monitor you and the baby and if there’s any cause for concern we can pull you out.”

“What’s that mean for Spike?”

Eleanora paused “It’s better if you do this once.”

“Again with the cryptic answers.” Buffy lay down on the couch “Alright let’s get this over with.”

Eleanora and a circle of witches entranced her into a relaxed state.

Buffy was in a state of floating and walking around a building she didn’t recognize. It was old and dim. “Okay Spike, you need to talk to me. Where are you?”

“Pet, he’s not quite rightly here.” A croony feminine voice came from the shadows.

“Drusilla.”

“Not in the flesh.” She was more lucid than Buffy had ever seen her. “He’s in a bad way our William. Take care of him Buffy.”

“He was always more yours than mine. But I loved my boy I did.” Dru looked so sad. “I tried to keep him safe. Now it’s to you.”

Buffy promised, “I will.”

Drusilla smiled at Buffy.

Glass shattered in a room above her and Drusilla was gone.

Buffy walked up the stairs, opening every door until she found him huddled in the corner.

“Spike.” She whispered. He hadn’t looked this bad since the Sunnydale High basement.

His skin was scratched to pieces, hair a mess.

“I kissed thee ere I killed thee. No way but this, Killing myself, to die upon a kiss. Get away. I won’t do it.”

“Do what Spike?”

“That’s it take a Spike and end it. You have to.”

Buffy was confused, but she got the general idea “Spike I love you, I’m not going to stake you.”

He huddled around himself tighter “I’ll do bad, bad bad man. Have to do it.”

Slowly Buffy moved towards him. “Spike, I don’t know what’s going on but I need you to snap out of it. You have to come with me.”

“Can’t. Can’t hurt you. Even if you hate me.”

“No one hates you, Spike.”

“All of you hate me. I did bad things. Should.”

“Okay you did a long time ago, but that’s not you anymore.”

He looked at her with perfect clarity. “Kill me before I kill you.”

“I’m not going to kill you, Spike. I love you.”

“Not true.” He mumbled.

“Spike, after all, this time, I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.” She reached out to touch his cheek. He flinched but she stayed with him.

“Spike, listen to me the real me right here. I love you, we have a baby on the way, for every stupid thing we’ve ever done this one little thing is perfect and innocent. Both of us need you. What about Dawn? She needs you. You were her rock when I was gone. I’ve lost you once. Don’t make me do it again. Take my hand.”

He stared at her hand like he’d never seen her before. Then he grabbed her hand.

Buffy jerked awake on the couch. Jumping up she ran to the bedroom. One of the witches was helping Spike drink down a concoction of herbs and powders.

“Stay back a moment. He needs some time to process all the magic out of his system. I’ll get you when he’s better.”

Buffy walked back slowly “Did it work?”

“Yes, dear. It’s just hard for the ill one. He’s had this poison eating away at him for over a week plus the effects of the spell. He’ll be right again soon.”

One of the witches she didn’t know came close to her. “You should rest now. The little one needs your attention too.”

“Is it-?”

“It’s fine if you’ll permit me” Eleanora held up her hand.

Buffy nodded.

Putting her hands on Buffy’s small stomach. “Ah, there you are, safe and sound in mommy. It’s going to be an active one.”

Buffy sat down. “So what happened?”

“When that man came into your home he was coated in a rare powder, it’s odorless and tasteless. The time Spike was in the house he absorbed it into his skin. Because you didn’t know to look for it, you didn’t know what it was doing.”

“He said we all hate him, he wanted me to stake him.”

“You and the baby are human, it did nothing to you. But it ate away at his mind, making him paranoid.”

“Wait you’re sure the baby’s human? Like 100%”

“Yes.” She laughed. “Totally human.”

“He’ll be fine in a day or two.” They all started to make their way up the stairs. “We’ll figure out how to clear the house of it tomorrow.”

“Thank you all so much for everything.” Buffy was exhausted.

“Willow came down the stairs, Buffy you need to take this.” Handing her a phone.

“Hello.”

“Buffy I need to talk to Spike,” Angel said coldly.

“Now isn’t the best time. Spike’s been sick.”

“Buffy it’s really important.”

“I don’t know if he’s even conscious right now. What is it?”

Silence.

“Angel?”

“Buffy…Drusilla’s dead.”


	8. Goodbye

Buffy was stunned. “What do you mean? I mean I just-never mind.”

“I felt her die Buffy. I thought that I should tell Spike.”

“Angel. Look I need you to listen it’s important. I was going to call you, we had a crisis here. Spike was poisoned. He should be fine now, but it was Lindsey McDonald.”

He took that tone he used like he was talking to a child that Buffy hated. “Buffy he’s dead.”

“No he isn’t Lorne was supposed to kill him but he didn’t.”

“He came after me a few years ago and I didn’t know who he was then. This time he came after Spike, watch your back okay.”

Angel’s voice was strained. “Buffy I’ll be in touch I have to look into some things; I’ll call you when I know something.” He hung up.

_ Great and now I have to tell Spike.  _ Buffy thought to herself.

She went into the bedroom. It was all too silent. The downside of being married to a vampire he didn’t breathe when he slept so he looked dead. A bad flash of seeing her mom on the couch popped into her head but she pushed it away.

Buffy sat next to him and gently rubbed his hand until the movement woke him up.

“Hey.” She whispered.

“You look like you’ve been ten rounds.” Spike teased.

“So do you.”

“ ‘M all right.”

“Spike I have to tell you something bad and I don’t know how to start.”

“It’s alright love I know. Dru’s gone.”

“How do you know?” Buffy asked.

“Funny thing is before you came in that room to get me she was there. Said goodbye.”

“Are you okay?”

“It’s weird like it’s not really real but I know it is. Lay down you look like you’re going to fall any second.”

Buffy climbed into bed with him.

“I told Angel about Lindsey. This is going to get bad Spike.”

“It always does Love. We’ll take care of it, it’s what you white hats do.”

“What we white hats do.” Buffy smiled. “I just hope things don’t turn out like before.”

Spike was tapping her stomach with his fingers when the baby tapped back.

“Hey. Look at that.” He said in amazement. It was the first time the baby kicked him.

“Babies do that.” Buffy smiled.

“Yeah well never to me. Growing up you didn’t even see a pregnant woman let alone get to feel the baby kick.”

She thought it was cute but didn’t want to tease him so she just fell asleep as Spike held her stomach waiting for their baby to kick again.

*********

The next few weeks were tense the coven and Scoobies looked at every angle to find Lindsey. He was either an expert at hiding or had some major magic making it look like he was.

Buffy had bad dreams about Lindsey, they weren’t slayer dreams but they were bothersome enough.

She and Spike chose to stay at the school until he was found, they couldn’t risk another attack with the baby. Now in her 6th month she was anxious for any of the slayer teams to find some trace of Lindsey.

Dawn threw her a baby shower to help get her mind off things. Most of the girls at the school made or bought little things for the baby, paintings or little clothes, which made Buffy cry. A lot. Noticeably missing was Maddie.

“I’ll go get her I need to clear out the crying hormones,” Buffy said as she went towards the girl’s room.

Some music Spike introduced her to played quietly on a speaker. She knocked. “Maddie.”

No answer.

Buffy opened the door.

“Maddie, are you-”

In the second she saw Maddie unconscious on the floor, something beamed Buffy on the back of her head hard enough to make her black out.

Lindsey picked Buffy up. “I’ve been waiting a long time for this.”

He opened a portal and stepped through it with Buffy. Leaving Maddie unconscious and bleeding on the floor.


	9. Reveals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok some extra violent on the imagery but it’s just talk, it doesn’t actually happen…so could be a little more R rated in one spot.

Maddie woke with Willow and Spike hovering above her.

Spike was seething “Maddie what happened?”

“Someone hit me from behind.”

“Did you see Buffy?”

“No. I’m sorry. I didn’t see anyone.”

Spike looked at Willow “Do you have anything?”

“Major magic. I’m guessing this is his.” Willow picked up a dagger.

“Trace it,” Spike growled.

“It’s probably a trap.” She suggested.

“Of course it’s a trap, doesn’t mean I’m not going.”

He ran down the stairs to the girls. “Alright the advanced teams that have been on operations before, break into three groups. One is back up, one stays here no matter what in case we get attacked, and the last goes with me. Sort it, be upstairs in three minutes.”

Giles had come in and as discussing with Willow, she would have to stay to bring them back through the portal.

Maddie pulled a trunk out from under her bed. She had a small collection of swords she’d been getting, mainly from Spike.

“You’re not going,” Spike said.

“Yes, I am. He’s my brother and he hurt my friends and used me. I deserve to go.” Maddie glared at him with the same intensity he felt.

“Be careful. I won’t be watching out for any of you,” He finally said.  “Are we ready?”

Giles nodded. Willow opened the portal.

“Then let’s go get her. One way or another it ends tonight.”

******

Buffy woke up confined to a table. It was dimly lit and cold, giving Buffy a very Frankenstein feel.

“Don’t bother struggling, there’s a spell on the restraints.” Buffy knew it was Lindsey. “Even you can’t break out of them.”

“Why did you do this to me? What did I ever do to you?” Buffy slowly and quietly tried the restraints looking for a week spot.

He came close to her face “You’ve never done anything to me darlin’.”

“Then why?” Buffy glared.

“You were a means to an end. It was never about you.”

“So you want my baby?”

He chuckled. “To be honest the baby was a surprise. I didn’t know until I did that little walk about that you were pregnant. But big things come in small packages.” He moved back to the work table on the other side of the room.

“I don’t understand.”

“Angel. Angel was the big prize. With the drugs, I thought you’d off yourself sooner or later and that would just tear him up. But you didn’t so I had to make concessions.”

 “What’s your problem with Angel that you had to go this far?”

“I was a hot shot lawyer, I actually had it all going for me and then the big bosses put me on a little project. I had to help get Angel over to our side. Really, they wanted Angelus.

Now it wasn’t actually my idea to bring Darla back, but I had to watch out for her.”

“Yeah I know skip to the relevant parts.” Buffy quipped.

 “I took care of her and we fell in love until Angel got obsessed so she went back. You know I don’t get what he’s got over you women, he treats you like garbage, kills you or people around you and you all go running back.”

Buffy tried to buy some time if he’d argue with her, the gang might just find her in time. “Let me let you in on a little secret, Darla was a big hoe. Now stop this before it gets worse.”

Lindsey ignored her. “In the end, I lose a hand, I lose Darla, I feel like I’ve lost my whole town. I even lost the bar I went to after work because he showed up.”

“So this is all about you lost your happy hour spot?”

“Aw, Buffy it’s not going to work trying to rile me up.” He continued moving things around on the table she couldn’t see. “I left town, then when I came back I was happy again, I met Eve and we were good. I make nice with Angel and of course he stabs me in the back. But not literally, he sends the barkeep lackey to do it. Couldn’t be bothered I guess. Only Lorne didn’t kill me like the boss man wanted, but still, he got me. Because Eve died in the rubble, I found her later, after the battle. Angel’s all safe and sound and again everything I had is gone.”

“Ok, this is a lot of Angel bashing and not a lot to do with me.” Buffy provoked.

“I know how he turned Drusilla. Killed everyone she loved, chased her down to that nunnery. Killed everyone there in front of her. Tsk tsk. So violent so evil. It’s time he gets a taste of that. And I figure what better way than to finish up by sending him you and your baby in a box.”

“If you touch me or my baby,” She warned. “You’re going to wish you were dead.”

“Oh Sunshine, I’ve been there for years.” “The baby is a nice touch though, the thing he could never have with you. A life, a future and here you are living the dream with the guy he hate’s more than anything.”

“Wait till he gets ahold of you.”

“I’m not worried about Angel.” He laughed.

“I’m talking about Spike and my friends. I don’t think you realize exactly who you’re messing with.”

“Don’t worry; I’ll be sure to see them too. First I took out Drusilla his favorite childe, and next Spike his errant prodigy.”

“Drusilla maybe, but didn’t you get the memo that Angel and Spike hate each other.”

“Still a connection, that’s all I cared about.” Lindsey sneered. “After his family comes Buffy the supposed love of his tortured life. Although it didn’t stop him from being with Darla, or Cordelia, or Kate, or whatever the werewolf chick’s name was. And after you, lastly his son.”

“You won’t get away with this. Even if you manage to kill me, Spike won’t rest until he kills you.”

“See that is exactly what I’m counting on.” 


	10. Demons of the Past

Spike strode in first through the portal followed firstly by Giles, and Maddie, the other slayers followed closely behind them weapons ready.

He breathed slow and deep. “This way.” Spike walked carefully but steady. He wasn’t going to lose her again.

“You’ll never make it,” Angel said.

“What.” Spike turned seeing his sire. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m not here, just in your head. You never could do anything right, Willy boy.”

“Right don’t have time for this.”

“Hello, Ripper?” Ethan Rayne jibed. “Going to lose this one yet again, very bad form. How many times have you let her die man?”

Giles shouted. “There not here ignore them.”

“Daddy.” Maddie was frozen stiff.

“MADDIE!” Giles screamed.

“Sorry. Right not here.” But she was still shaken.

They continued down the corridor finding nothing until a fork in the halls forced them to split up to block off any exits.

After a minute down the hallway, Spike saw an apparition of Lindsey. He itched to tear him apart.

“Spike good to see you again,” Lindsey said.

“It won’t be in a minute. Where is she?”

“She’s fine for now, so pretty it’d be a shame to kill her. Almost.”

“If you touch her, nothing on this or any other dimension will protect you.”

“See that’s going to be a hard threat to back up, I’ve got some friends I want you to meet.

The figment of Lindsey disappeared, and a hoard of demons came charging at the group.

“Bloody Hell!”

******

“Since I’m going to die anyway can I ask a question?”

“Sure thing, we’ve got some time.” He picked up a syringe and played with it.

“What about Maddie? Is she even your sister or just some kid you picked out of the lineup?”

“That’s actually a funny story. Well, not really funny. Unless you enjoy stories about kids being raised dirt poor by an abusive alcoholic father. I managed to get a scholarship and leave and never look back.

Except I did go back, after I left LA I drove down to Oklahoma and looked up my dear old dad. He was in jail then, the county took my little sister and she was in a safe place. I left her there. Eventually, the old man got out and drank himself to death, or maybe not.

See there was a bit of a question about that because he had a few pretty good bruises. They blamed it on falling from the booze. But he died on May 20, 2003. Can you think of any reason why that would be important? Think real hard… all those baby slayers when did they all come around I wonder.”

“Maddie didn’t do that, and if she did it was an accident.” Buffy glared, she knew the girl, she couldn’t have done it.

“I don’t really care. Good for her if she did?” Lindsey shrugged. “It’s not like she didn’t spend most of her life in foster care.

Anyway, I kept tabs on the slayers through various…friends I have through Wolfram and Heart. And what a surprise it was when my baby sister appeared on the list of the newly picked up slayers. It’s a big brother’s priority to check in on his little sister.”

Buffy glared “That is sick.”

“Call it what you like, but it got us here.” Lindsey smiled “And for that I’m grateful.”

“Something banged on a floor above them. Looks like the parties getting started.” Lindsey headed for the door. “Don’t worry I’ll be back for you soon.”

Lindsey walked down a floor below to make sure everything was prepared for his guests.

He whistled as he made sure the doorway was clear and he had what he needed. Everything was arranged and perfect.

He smiled a very Angelus like smile.


	11. Apocalypse Now

Buffy struggled against the restraints, trying to angle her body just so… “GOT IT!”

Since she and Spike moved back to the school, Buffy kept a dagger hidden in her waistband. Lindsey never bothered to search her due to the magical restraints.

It was slow work but Buffy managed to cut through the thick leather band holding her left wrist, then at her chest, going on until she was free.

Slowly she sat up not sure if Lindsey had given her anything while she was out. She looked at the table he’d been at, it was full of scalpels, and syringes.

When she was sure she was fine she bolted, for her sake and the baby’s she had to get out of there now.  

Buffy followed the noise.

It was utter chaos. Demons and slayers everywhere in a knockdown drag out.

She jumped in pummeling the demons.

Finally, Spike saw her “You all right?” Spike shouted.

Buffy quipped back. “I’m a little out of practice but I think I’ll get the hang of it.”

Now was the time to fight for their lives. A tender moment would come later when they were out of danger.

A blast came from the back of the hall. Then another. And another.

Finally, the demons seemed to be disappearing.

“Cavalry’s here,” Xander shouted.

Willow blasted through man of them with beams from her hands.

Once they killed all the demons they took a moment to breathe.

“Willow look at you with the mega power.” Buffy teased, as she tucked her knife back into her waistband. 

“Yeah, not going to try that again too soon.” She wobbled on her feet.

“What are you doing here?” Spike asked.

“I scryed for you, this is close to the school. Eleanora showed up and she’s tracking us right now.”

“Is everyone all right?” Giles asked.

“Few cuts and bruises.” Buffy nodded to her arm that was bleeding a bit.

Xander came up to them. “What’s the plan now? Do we take the mama home or do we stay and finish this?”

“Don’t leave so soon. I’ve got one big party favor for you.” Lindsey hissed. He turned and ran back towards the basement.

The Scoobies followed.

*********

Lindsey ran down the stairs and they followed him.

The basement was empty apart from a few random things.

Their things.

Maddie’s backpack, a spell book of Willow’s, plans for the demon bar Xander was consulting with Lorne on, Spike’s knife, a pair of Giles’ glasses.

From the running blood on Buffy’s arm fell to the ground. The floor started shaking as soon as it did.

Lindsey laughed. “You guys never look at the big picture. It wasn’t only Angel I wanted to control, I want everything.”

A vortex swirled open

“You want to close it. One of you has to die. Only blood from one of the summoned can do it.” He was hysterical. “You get to choose. Who will it be? The Father figure, the little sister you’ve all come to love, what about the sidekicks or the parents to be?”

“Giles what do we do?” Buffy screamed over the noise.

Giles was trying to hold on to the wall that was shaking as the cement floor buckled. “I don’t know.”

Spike pulled Buffy close. “It’s going to be all right Love.” He wrapped his arms around her tightly and kissed her slowly. He stepped back with her dagger in his hand.

“What are you doing?” She screamed.

He took another step back.

“Do me a favor,” Spike smiled a halfhearted smirk, “just don’t name the baby after Angel.”  He plunged the dagger into his heart.

Buffy screamed.

Blood fell from the wound, and the vortex swallowed him whole.

The room was deathly silent. 


	12. Crossing the Lines

Buffy’s grief overwhelmed her, but this wasn’t like when Dawn was taken and she was hurting and wanted to shut down.

There was someone to blame.

And this time he was in the room.

Through her tears, she stood and moved with slayer speed throwing Lindsey into a wall. She felt no guilt when she heard a snap come from his arm.

She grabbed him by the throat.

“He came after what was mine,” he coughed. “Just going after what’s his.”

Buffy slammed her fist into his nose before he could blink.

“Why are you men such idiots?” Buffy seethed. “I don’t belong to Angel, I don’t belong _to_ anyone. I belong _with_ Spike. And you took him away from me. You want to fight Angel then you should have stayed in LA, he’s nothing to any of us anymore.”

“But you’re something to him.”

“Not anymore moron. You’re so good at tailing us; how did you miss the fact that I married someone else. I have a new life and so does Angel, we share circles of people but we are not in each other’s lives. And I’m not anyone’s prize trophy at the end of the race. I’m a person. I was a wife, now I’m a really pissed off Slayer.” She leaned close to him speaking softly. “When we’re done, you’re really going to wish Angel had killed you.”

“Buffy,” Giles rested his hand on Buffy’s hand. “You need to rest. I will handle this.”

“But he killed Spike.” She cried.

“I know.” There was an uneasy calm in his voice. “I know everything he’s done to _you_. He’s still human; you can’t do anything to him and not hate yourself later. I will take care of him.”

Willow spoke now with perfect clarity. “Buffy, the baby; Spike would want you to rest, do it for him.”

She wanted nothing more than to kill him. No that wasn’t right, she wanted Spike more than anything. All she had left of him to hold onto was this baby. Spike’s baby.

“Giles, do whatever you have to do. I don’t care.” She loosened her grip on Lindsey. “Come on Maddie let’s go.”

Maddie walked up to Lindsey. “You didn’t have to do any of this. You could have taken me, we could have been a family.” A tear fell down her cheek. “But you didn’t. Lindsey, you hurt everyone who’s ever given a damn about me. For nothing. Goodbye.”

She turned and walked up the stairs without a second glance.

Buffy was slower to move on. When she reached the landing above the basement she heard the mockery in Lindsey’s voice as he spoke to Giles. “What is she your daughter?”

The coldness in Giles’ answer kept her from turning around. She didn’t see Lindsey’s face but she could feel it with the icy tone in Giles’ reply. “As a matter of fact, she is.”

*******

“Wake up Fang Face.” A soft kick to his side roused Spike.

“What the hell?” Spike was hazy but could hear a woman’s voice.

“We’re actually a little closer to the heaven side.”

“I’m dead-dead right?”

“Sort of.” The woman said.

He shook his head looking up at the annoying woman. “Cordelia?”

“The one and only. I’m your emissary through here.”

“What?”

“The Powers that Be want to speak with you. Come on.” She took his hand and they reappeared in a grand room with two thrones, a shimmering figure with flowing black hair appeared. Her Companion was equally dazzling, both with golden eyes matching the delicate vining that decorated their skin.

“Welcome, William. We’ve been expecting you.”

“What is all this?”

“We are the originators the creators.”

The male spoke. “You have fought for this world dying twice for tis protection and not your own goal.”

“I did it for me, for her.”

“Love is given away.” The man smiled “Therefore not for yourself.”

The woman held her hand out. “We can give you a gift. Bring me the scroll.” It appeared in her palm.

“I believe you are somewhat familiar with this.” She read “the ensouled vampire shall live so he may one day die.”

“The Shanshu? That’s Angel’s gig.” Spike confirmed.

The pair frowned. “He made many mistakes that have blackened his soul. It was rather precarious for a while though he too may achieve it if he continues on his current path.”

“We can give you a gift.” The man repeated.

Spike looked up shocked. “I get to go back?”

“Yes, and you can be mortal.”

Spike could see the possibilities playing with a blonde haired little girl, holding Buffy in the sun. His thoughts turned imagining being attacked by demons, being helpless. Buffy or the baby being hurt because of it. “No. I can’t be human.”

The woman smiled softly “We can see your heart’s desire but tell us what you wish. Man or vampire?”

“Vampire.” Spike whispered. “She can love me as I am. If I were just a man I couldn’t protect my family I’d be another liability. I'd rather be a monster and protect them than be mortal and not be able to.”

“You wish to be her equal?” The man replied.

“You could never make me her equal. She's above us all.”

“He speaks falsely, yet also truth.”

“We shall make a concession.” She motioned Cordelia “Return with him, help them understand.”

“I will.” Cordelia bowed and whisked Spike from the room.

********

Willow held onto Buffy as they walked out of the old building. “I’ll call for someone to pick us up in the bus. I’m a little mojoed out.”

Buffy made sure to stay away from the girls that were resting in the yard and kept close to Willow and Maddie who she’d forgotten was there. “He can’t be dead. We have to get him back.”

“But how?”

“Wills, I don’t care. You dragged me out of heaven you can find a way to get him back. If I have to crawl through hell itself to do it.”

A snide voice from behind them spooked them. “Great planning strategy as always ladies.”

“Cordy!”

She held up her hands “Don’t kill me not a demon. We’ll not anymore exactly, kind of an angel here.”

“You’re kidding.” Willow laughed.

“Who da thunk it right; Queen C meanest girl to grace the halls of Sunnydale High an angel.”

Buffy was on her last nerve holding it together, “Not to be rude but I can’t do this now. Spike-”

“God- sorry right. That’s why I’m here.” Stepping aside lay the body of the vampire.

“Spike!” Buffy threw herself on him sobbing. “Not dust, he’s alive.”

“More or less.”

“Bu- How?”

“Let’s get inside. Newbie hold someone’s hand.” Cordelia took both Buffy and Willow’s hand and in a flash, the group was in Buffy’s cottage bedroom; Cordy having the wherewithal to place Spike and Buffy on the bed.

“Better. As I was saying it’s a gift from the higher ups. Payment for services rendered. It’s going to take him a while to wake up. Just leave him be he won’t need food or blood until he wakes up. He won’t be the same man who died for you just so you know. You rest too, that one’s going to keep you on your toes once it gets here.”

“Have you seen it?” Maddie asked.

“Just a glimpse, it’s going to be a pretty baby.”

Buffy laughed. “ _It_ huh, no hints.”

“Now where’s the fun in that?”

Willow’s voice trembled a little as she spoke. “Cordy I don’t mean to be rude but didn’t you die?”

“Oh that, yeah there was some stuff that went on but the PTB, let me become a guardian again after you know letting me get possessed then killed and all. Look I have to go, but I’ll be back.”

“Cordelia thank you.” Buffy got up and wrapped her arms around Cordelia’s neck.

“Don’t thank me I’m just the delivery girl. He did it on his own.”

“Still thank you.” She sniffled

“You’re welcome. And Buffy, you look a little pale. Once he wakes up you should go someplace warm, get some sun.”

She laughed in spite of herself as Cordelia disappeared “I’ll do that.”

Turning to Willow, “He’s all right, he’s really alright.”

“I’ll make you some cocoa get some rest.” Maddie followed silently behind Willow.

“Thanks.” Buffy crawled into bed beside her husband. Nestling herself against his back her arms protectively around him.

She closed her eyes. In the silence she found something she hadn’t noticed before, “Oh my God.”


	13. Endings

“What is she your daughter?”

 “As a matter of fact, she is.”

Lindsey’s face whitened. “You won’t kill me; you’re one of the good guys.”

“See that’s where you’re wrong. I am one of the good guys, but sometimes in this world, there are hard choices to be made, things to be done. You have tried repeatedly to kill my slayer, which puts the world in danger. More so, I love that girl. You’ve caused her too much pain. I can’t allow that to go on.”

“You won’t do it.” His voice less convincing now.

“Why not?” Giles pressed his face close to Lindsey’s with a cruel whispering. “I’ve done it before.”

Giles’ face was the last thing Lindsey McDonald saw on this Earth.

********

Spike lived somewhere between sleep and a coma. Buffy wouldn’t leave his side for long in case he woke up. The Scoobies alternated shift so someone was always around to help Buffy. Two weeks after Cordelia had returned him home, Buffy was drifting off to sleep when a hand brushed a piece of hair from her face. Her eyes shot open peering into the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen.

Buffy screamed, “Spike!”

Willow burst into the room thinking the worst.

“Bloody hell woman. It’s enough to give me a heart attack. If I had a heart that is.”

Buffy threw herself at him, clinging to him.

“Watch the ribs love. Still a little sore.”

“Don’t ever do something so stupid again.”

“What was stupid? Protecting my wife my baby, be angry if you like but you’re still here. All that matters.”

“I don’t want to argue, you’re here. That’s all that matters. I love you.”

Waves of gold fluttered around the corner of the room. Once they stilled Cordelia appeared through the haze.

“Took you long enough.”

“You know you’re an awful mouthy bint for a guardian.”

“I get that a lot.” She turned to Buffy “He figure it out yet?”

“Nope. Stupid vampire.”

“Can’t exactly say that anymore.” The women giggled “but it’s still true enough, though.”

“Want to let me in on the little joke” Spike growled. Buffy picked up his hand and placed it on his chest “because let me tell you tha-”

He looked around startled from Buffy to Cordy. “What the buggering hell is that?”

“Wow, he is stupid. Know what a heartbeat is dumbass?”

“Yeah but why do I have one?”

“Shanshu prophecy.”

“I told them not to make me human.”

“Well they didn’t exactly, that’s why I’m here. I have to explain how it works it’s pretty unusual. For all intents and purposes, you are now human. You can go frolic in the sunshine, go to a ball game, get your head bleached in the daylight, whatever.”

“They can’t do-”

“Zip it! I’m talking. On the other hand, the PTB took what you said into consideration. So you are a sort of specialized human hybrid. You can vamp out; you keep your speed, super strength. The whole enchilada but you don’t need blood to survive. Think like the gem of Amara except you can’t lose this one.”

“Basically you are a human but in case of emergency break the glass and you get a vampire that can” she poised her hands to make air quotes “protect his family and not be a liability.”

“God do I need a smoke.”

“No can do.” Buffy smiled “Smoking out entirely now. Human lungs and all, besides think about the baby.”

“We’ll leave you two alone. And uh don’t blame me for the side effects.” Cordy rushed from the room.

Willow added, “Call me if you need anything.”

“How is munchkin anyway?” The palm of Spike’s hand caressed her stomach.

“It’s fine.”

“Probably should call it her.”

“Why did you see something up there?”

“No love honest. But it’s all women in my life, you Summer’s women know how to turn a man around your little finger and play him like a puppet.”

“What about the guys?”

“Only a recent inclusion to that group, they have voted on killing me off a few more times than I’d care for. But the witches, your mum, and sis, the demon. They could tolerate me before.”

“Well if it is a girl I like Summer for the name. Summer Joy.”

He stared at her silently for a moment. “Where did you come up with that?”

“Just came to me.” He cocked his head to the side questioningly. “On a little piece of paper. I found… In your jeans.”

“When was that?”

“Couple months ago. I didn’t want to embarrass my sentimental man.”

“Buffy.”

“Hmm?”

“What did Cordelia mean by side effects?”

Buffy burst out laughing.

********

“Call me if you need anything,” Willow said and closed the door.

“Willow, there is something I need you to see. We don’t need to be here for this. Trust me.”

Cordy took Willow’s hand in hers and they reappeared in the realm where she had found Spike.

“What is this?” She asked.

“Like with Spike, it’s sort of a gift.”

“Whoa so don’t want any special extras.” Willow shook her hands.

“More a gift of knowledge. There is someone who wants to speak with you.”

A glowing woman with honey blonde hair appeared before her, dazzling in a glowing white gown. “Hey, sweetie.”

“Tara, is that really you?”

“In the flesh. Or not really, but it’s me.” She pushed a piece of Willow’s hair back.

“I’ll just leave you two alone.” Cordelia disappeared.

“What are you?” Willow asked.

“I’m an angel.”

“If anyone ever was-. Can I touch you?”

Tara nodded “It’s okay.”

Her hand rested on Tara’s check and Willow burst into tears.

“It’s okay.” She repeated as she embraced Willow.

“I wish I could bring you back. I tried. It hurt so badly after. I was so terrible.”

“You can’t control things anymore. That’s what gets you in trouble. You have to let it go. You have to let me go.”

“I can’t do that.” Willow held on to her “You’re in my heart and I can’t forget that, not again.”

“Not forgetting, just living. It’s okay to move on. I love you; I want you to be happy.”

“I don’t know if I can be.”

“You will. I want you to.’

“Are you happy?” Willow asked.

“Most of the time. I’m sad when you are, but other than that it’s peaceful here, and I can protect people who need me.”

“I need you.”

“No, you don’t.” Tara was so soft and gentle with Willow “You need to move on. It’s been long enough to grieve.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. But you can love someone else and still love me. You have to go now.”

Willow’s tears slowed “There’s so much I want to say.”

“You don’t need too, I already know.” She kissed her on the cheek.

“Goodbye.”

“Only until we meet again.” She smiled warmly and Willow reappeared in Buffy and Spike’s living room.

She finally had her chance to say goodbye, as much as it hurt. She went home determined to do better because her Tara was watching over her.


	14. Mirror Image

Spike stood before the mirror, and for the first time in over a century and a half he could see himself in it. He had pictures of himself over the years but somehow this was different.

Buffy grinned as she watched him. “That’s the side effect.” She walked beside him playing with a brown curl that had fallen onto his face. For some reason, your hair went back to how it was when you were human.

“But otherwise I look the same?”

“Yep, same big strong arms, I checked the abs when the hair turned back one night, still there.”

“So you only like me for my body is that it?”

“Mostly, and I happen to love you.” She pulled him down to kiss him.“I like the messy curls.”

“Don’t get used to them they’re going back to blond.”

“Then can I take them for a test drive?” She gave his hair a soft tug.

He scooped her up and carried her to the bed.

********

The gang discussed the situation at length, what were they going to do about Maddie?

They had all grown so fond of her but Lindsey’s revelations had to be dealt with.

Finally, they went for a direct route.

Willow was out on an assignment but the rest of the core group was there. Buffy didn’t want to be there. Buffy didn’t want to lose another person she cared about and was afraid what the truth might bring. But remembering when Dawn acted out it seemed more like she didn’t care if she was absent.

 “Why do I feel like I’m in trouble?” Maddie asked as she sat down in the school’s main office, much like when she’d met everyone years before.

“There’s something we need to talk about,” Giles said from the sofa, in a miserable attempt to make her at ease. “Everyone’s here because we care about you and want to help you.”

Buffy sighed. “Lindsey told me things when he took me, things about you. Now I’m not saying we believe him, but we need to know what happened.”

Maddie looked at the floor. “What do you want to know?”

Spike spoke very softly “Anything you want us to know, but mainly what happened to your dad?”

She refused to look up but they all saw the tears fall.

Xander spoke up. “Listen Maddie, we just need to know what happened, good or bad. We’ve all had crappy childhoods. I mean Buffy’s dad abandoned her and Dawn, their mom and Willow’s mom once almost burned them at the stake. Mine were drunks who screamed and fought all the time.” He paused a moment. “And Giles and Spike, they’re Brits so there’s that.”

Maddie gave a slight laugh.

“What I’m saying is we can understand pretty much anything, but you have to tell us. Secrets have a way of blowing up around here.”

“I killed my dad.”

“That’s the short version,” Spike said. “Now tell us how it happened.”

“He was always nasty, he got arrested a few times and I was taken to different homes but he’d always get out and I’d have to go back. I was small for my age. Around nine or ten he’d start hitting me, usually where no one could see any marks.”

She went on “So the last night, he’d been on a bender for days. Those nights were usually okay, he’d go from one bar to another and pass out somewhere, but someone brought him home and he was mad. He started screaming at me, I had felt funny all afternoon. Finally, when the beating started I don’t know why but I hit him back. I only hit him once but he flew across the room and he stopped moving.” Tears flowed down her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to do it. I called 911 and when the ambulance showed up they just assumed it was his drinking.”

Buffy who was also crying now moved to hug Maddie but her stomach made it a little difficult. “Guys a little help here.”

“I got it Buffster.” Xander put a hand on Maddie’s shoulder. “Ok, that is not the same thing as killing someone. Do you hear me? It was an accident. He died but you didn’t kill him.”

Maddie nodded and the crying lessened a bit.

“Maddie it’s okay.” Buffy sniffled. “Do you want me to take you back to your room?”

“NO!” She shouted. “I mean I’m not a baby I can do it fine.”

Spike caught on. “Where have you been sleeping? And don’t say your room.”

“Well, the basement. I didn’t think you’d mind.”

“I don’t. Think you should keep it. Right?”

Giles nodded. “It’s been a trying day and if you’re alright I think you should go on to bed.”

“Yes, Mr. Giles.” Maddie wiped the tears from her cheeks and went to bed.

“What was all that about?” Xander asked.

Spike drummed his fingers needing a smoke he wasn’t allowed “She’s scared to sleep in her room, not surprising after what happened.”

“Did you know?” Buffy asked Giles.

“Yes, I did. I have wards all over the hallways and common rooms when someone is sneaking around I need to know about it. At first, I assumed she was hiding from the others, but over time I realized she tried to stay in common rooms longer than anyone else to avoid going in there at all.”

“Do you think she’ll be alright?” Buffy rubbed her stomach.

“In time yes, she has many resources here she’ll find her way soon enough. After all, you all did.” Giles said looking at the two adults he’d met as struggling teenagers.

“With the lot of you around, she’ll be perfectly fine.” 


	15. Tiny Miracles

About 2 Months Later….

The gang gathered around to meet the newest Scooby who decided to make their appearance in the middle of the night during a massive thunderstorm. Dr. Nora had been staying in the guestroom of Spike and Buffy’s new house, expecting the slayer’s child to be demanding and come in the middle of the night. She thought it best to keep the terrified father from having to deliver his own baby. In the hours since everyone had had a chance to clean up and sleep except for the Dr. Nora.

She had let the Scoobies in as she went home for much-needed rest.

“Ready love?” Spike asked.

Buffy nodded keeping her attention solely on the bundle wrapped up in her arms.

Spike went to the living room and ushered them in. “Come on in. Auntie first.”

Dawn bouncing into the room acting very much like the fifteen-year-old girl Spike had grown to adore, froze as she saw the tiny baby. “It’s so little.”

“Come on Bit, the rest want to get a peek.”

When they had all gathered into the room Buffy finally pulled her attention away as Spike stood beside her.

“Come on in guys, meet my-” Buffy stopped “son. Our son.”

“Aww a boy, what’s his name. It’s not Jack Daniel is it?” Willow looked horrified.

“No, Wills it’s a family name. He’s named after his grandpa, uncle, and father. Everyone I’d like to introduce you to Giles Alexander William Pratt.”

Giles senior tried to suppress a smile. “You should have named him after his father.”

“Sorry Rupes, too many Will’s around here already.”

He turned his attention to Spike “But surely your middle name-”

“It’s Henry, as in what Hank is short for. Like my dad, I haven’t seen since I was eighteen.” Buffy replied, “I’d rather my baby be named after his real grandpa.”

“But-”

“If it’s confusing for you in your old age we figured we’d call him Alex. Keep it simpler with all the doubles around here.”

“I can’t believe you named him after me too?” Xander was stunned.

“Yeah well..” Spike couldn’t think of anything mean to say.

“Do you want to hold him?” Buffy tentatively handed Spike the precious bundle who walked him over to Giles.

Giles stared down at the boy as everyone gathered to get a look at the baby.

His tiny head was covered in soft light brown hair, his skin the perfect baby pink with chubby little cheeks. He wiggled and freed his swaddled arm reaching out his palm touched Gile’s face. Tears formed in Gile’s eyes he couldn’t hide or wipe away with baby Giles in his arms.

“He’s smiling,” Dawn stated.

“Babies his age can’t smile yet,” Willow told her.

“I don’t know Willow. He seemed like he did earlier too.”

One by one the Scoobies handed baby Alex around and with each new person, the baby seemed to smile. Until he found his way back to Giles, and was worn out from his unveiling and was sound asleep in the man’s arms.

“Buffy, he truly is a miracle. But then again look at this mother.”

Spike leaned down and pulled his son from Giles' arms allowing Buffy to hug him.

********

The baby cried softly from his crib. Spike was at him in an instant lifting him to his chest and moving from the room. Whispering to his son “Hey now m’boy, none of that you’ll wake your mum. That’s it.” Wrapping the squirming baby up in a blanket as a bottle of milk warmed in the microwave.

The whole downstairs was covered in unbreakable windows and French doors. Spike had picked it out for Buffy and enlisted Xander’s help to make improvements, like the glass. He was no longer just a vampire but living with a slayer brought on the additional risk of things flying through windows.

It was just before sunrise, little Alex always woke up about this time of day. Spike cradled his son close to him, feeling the little boy’s heartbeat drumming under his palm.

A pair of warm arms circled his waist as Buffy laid her head against the back of his shoulder. “What are my guys doing out here so early?”

“Munchkin wanted to see the sunrise.”

“You think he’ll keep this up once it’s time to go to school?”

“He’s our kid probably hide himself with a cloaking spell to avoid it.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Buffy came around Spike taking Alex in her arms.

Spike held them both in his arms as they watched the sun come up. As a family.


	16. The Final Bow

Xander was finally not woozy from the teleporting through dimensional walls. He generally helped Lorne with Sweet’s demon bar over the phone or on a rare video chat, but today he needed to come in person.

“Let’s not make this a habit Lorne.”

“Sorry Muffin Cakes, you look greener than I do.”

“I really hope you’re joking but I’m not sure.”

Off in the distance, they heard a woman scream.

“Oh no!” Lorne looked queasy himself.

Xander asked “What are they doing? Torturing her?”

“She’s not the one being tortured. That’s Sweet’s accountant. The crew calls her the Tyrant.”

A pretty blonde woman strode out in six-inch heels and headed straight for Lorne. “This is not going to cut it, Lorne! Why are the costs so high, this place is taking forever to open and we’re not making any money until it does.”

Xander stepped in. “That’s why I’m here. Once we finalize everything today I can give you an estimate on when everything will be ready for a launch.”

“See that you do!” She stormed back to her office.

“Wow!” Xander was smitten.

Later on, Lorne disappeared to find his own lunch while Xander sat at the bar.

“I’m sorry.” The blonde said.

“It’s alright. I’m Xander.”

“Tavara, people tell me I can be rude and off-putting.”

“That’s alright. I worked in construction for years I’m pretty used to it.”

“It’s just this is kind of my big break. I used to be a nightmare demon but I hated the hours now I’m doing this and if we don’t get the place up and running soon I’m going to have to find a new job.”

“That’s understandable.”  She reminded him a lot of Anya but was different too.

The pair talked for over an hour until Lorne came back from lunch.

“Alright, lots to do, need to keep on track.” He said.

Xander started to go back to work and stopped. “Tavara, do you ever go between dimensions?”

“I haven’t had a reason to but I used to do it all the time. It’s a cinch once you get used to it.”

“I’m asking I was wondering I have this wedding to go to if you’d like to go. With me that is.”

“Well, Xander I would be delighted.” She smiled. “Have that one bring me the details.”

“Or I could come back with him and check on everything.”

“That would be good too.” She made her way back to her office.

Lorne just stared at the pair. “I don’t believe it. You melted the ice queen.”

Xander just shrugged “Let’s get back to work.” He pretended nothing was different but he was happier than he’d been in a long time.

********

Buffy glowed in her dress, as Giles once again walked her down the isle. White flower petals adorned the grass. The sun was soft above the gathering.

Some things were just as they had been at their first wedding with some great improvements, now Joyce’s sisters, the Angel Investigations crew was in attendance in Buffy and Spike’s backyard, as well as the most important addition, little Alex.

Buffy’s Aunt Lolly and Clem were chatting wholeheartedly during the reception. Leaving Aunt Arlene free to argue over certain literature with Giles.

Buffy looked at Spike with a knowing smile “You didn’t adjust my seating chart did you?”

Spike smirked. “What makes you say that love?” He kissed her.

“Thanks, I haven’t seen him this thoroughly annoyed with another woman since Jenny. Think it will work?”

“Just might, crazier things have happened. Where’s my son?” He said rather loudly, and the boy made loud baby gurgle noises to get his father’s attention.

Spike pulled him from Dawn’s arms. “What’s that now?” he nodded towards her hand.

“Oh, uh don’t freak out on me okay. Lawrence asked me to marry him.”

Spike acted wholly uninterested “Good about time. I was wondering when he was going to get around to it.”

“You’re not gonna get all macho and aggressive on him?”

“No, I did that months ago when he asked me about it.”

“He asked you…”

“Yeah well he’s alright. But if he hurts you I get to torture him.”

“You won’t need too.” She wrapped her arms around him and the baby gently. “Now I’m going to go yell at him for keeping secrets.”

Spike saw the man in question smile at dawn. “Run boy!” he shouted. But Dawn smiled sweetly and the unsuspecting boy was trapped.

“I’ll have to teach you early.” he said looking down at Alex. “Those girls will run ragged with your heart.” He saw Buffy moving across the lawn and Dawn hugging Lawrence. “But sometimes it’s worth it.”

Maddie was dancing with some of the girls her own age and looked like she didn’t have a care in the world.

Willow had a date with a new girl she’d been seeing and was busy chatting with Tavara and Xander.

Spike walked over to find Angel, Nina and Buffy chatting under the porch roof.

“There’s my little guy. I want to see the baby’s face when he meets Angel.” Buffy smiled. They had come to realize that the baby could feel a person’s emotions or mood when he touched them. He rarely really cried but could mimic his mother’s pout and his father’s warm or steely gaze with the matching blue eyes.

Nina reached for the baby first who giggled at her. She snuggled him for a bit then handed him off to Angel. Alex twisted his face to the side then the other mimicking his father very well, before scrunching up his face to a severe pout.

Nina lost control first and nearly dropped her glass from laughter as the baby brooded in Angel's arms. Soon everyone around them except Angel was laughing at the baby. Angel was unamused and began to brood. The pair wore matching expressions and it only added fuel to the fire.

“Andrew you’ve got this right?” Spike laughed.

“Of course. I document everything.”

Spike knew the happy times wouldn't last forever. Things didn’t always work out for the best but today was one pretty great day.


End file.
